Everybody loves themselves a mirror

25 Dec

I’m laughing so hard internally that I can feel my organs constantly bouncing off their permissible limit. It’s a funny world out there, if you haven’t noticed already! And I’m winning. 😉 😉

Struggling to climb the ladder doesn’t get you there. In fact, it only worsens your inferiority complex. I tell you that not to discourage you; I’ve just been there done that for about all my life- until now of course. And with your sad complexities, you only land up feeding the ego of every other dimwit that ever peeked into town. It feels sic, doesn’t it? Hmm. Relax. There is a cure.

If you’re anything like what I’ve been, you’re probably very meticulous, always trying hard to please, extra-jittery, too emotional about any and everything and perennially asking yourself, “Why doesn’t he/she (for example, the person in charge/boss) like me and treat me the way he/she treats everyone else? What have I done wrong?” You’re most likely too self-respecting to stoop and too honest to fake it. You KNOW that the pillars of the place you’re in will come crashing down the minute you’re gone, yet no one shows it; but does that knowledge make you feel secure in yourself? I’m guessing not.

Diplomacy is an art; why else would you think politics remains a winner? There is a fine line between using each pawn in a game of chess to your benefit and in becoming a victim of the game yourself. Each member of the army has his/her own significance; each one has their own insecurities, each one has inane things that make them tick, each one has their own pleasure points. Observe. Step into their shoes- I cannot stress that enough. How do they think?? What makes them emote? Set aside your emotions for a while. You cannot expect to gain, if they haven’t first been analyzed by you. Listen intently- a line, a pointer, a random statement- nothing ever, ever goes to waste. Know your priorities and race ahead to beat the winning horse. You can!

Watch what you say. Your body language, your expressions and your eye movements when you think no one notices- they all matter. Remain a mystery. Show different people different aspects of your personality; let them all feel like they know you- the personal touch they sense is important for your relationships to flourish. The advantage? Onions don’t cry much, do they? And if you haven’t noticed already, nobody manages to cut through every layer at once without shedding a bucketful of tears themselves. 😉 So, the odds of you losing are pretty darn low.

When two of your friends don’t get along, give each of them crisp, quality individual time; they will love you for it. Show maturity- understand, yet crib not! Everybody needs a soothing, calming talk. Give them what they want; you know it when you see them. Your weaknesses will diminish and get sucked into your core, plus the euphoria of tasting victory pretty much makes you forget those sore points entirely!

Lastly, accept favors. People adore, love and respect you. Let them show it! I mean that last one.

And yes, I am the same person you’ve been reading all along. Santa probably just dipped me into a bottle of shiny new paint and gave me my much-needed makeover. My ethics still dictate the beating of my heart and they always will; but if goodness must win, evil needs to concede without even realizing it- that’s what God and I decided last. Be a mirror. Help God!

It’s a GUY thing! *cough*

18 Dec

If you’re remotely feminine, you’ll relate to this post. If not, aha, I’m not posting any comments that go against my line of thought anyway, so we’re even. 😀

Women take a long time to trust even the closest of their friends with every single detail of their lives; I know this because I do, too. And when they finally confide in you, they expect you to be that solid rock, their anchor, their undying support system, their constant listening ear. You’re SO close at a point like this to becoming her sole advisor, the co-pilot of her ship during her times of havocIRRESPECTIVE of whether or not she is the type of woman who’d consider taking advice from someone such as yourself, not to belittle you or mean that offensively, of course!

The least you could probably do then would be to sit still in the backdrop of the picture that is her life. But really, ask yourself all of you masculine kinds in the world- what is it that you promptly do instead, without fail? ESCAPE. 😕

Yes, you escape. Unlike any version of you she has ever known, quite suddenly, you do not call, message or make an appearance for at least a few days; which, being a woman, I cannot fathom why. Are you trying to soak in all the drama from the day before like a ruminating cow? Or is it normal for you to have such delayed hypersensitivity to all matters relating to the heart?? Maybe, you’re simply spending time emptying out your thought processes that are smoking up wild fire by now, screaming “OVERLOAD”; I don’t know.

At her end, she glances at her cell phone and the clock on her bedroom wall on and off, wondering if she was too hasty to reveal to you, so much of what is truly important to her. She talks herself into believing that all of that information wasn’t much of a secret anyway, that anyone could have put two and two together and pieced out her story whenever they would have so desired and that re-telling her story to anyone else won’t fetch you much, 😕 even if you tried to. During stray moments in her day, she is sure that you’ve been unwell or have a profoundly critical excuse for your unacceptable callousness- you couldn’t be so sadistic without reason now, could you? With another day gone by, she prides herself on not having told you of the latest development in her life; she is NOW one up on you and you will never learn of it until an era after the completion of the event, when, if you get lucky, she will mention it to you just as carelessly.

You’ve slipped steeply from the position you had managed to reach, but in your defence, you’re clueless about this all-important detail when you randomly text her phone now saying, you’ve been out on vacation with family. Tch! Does she reply? Yes, of course; because she’s too egoistic to have you read her mind. And is she a good actress when required? 😉 Oh, she’s awesome, you bet!

Quit giving yourselves a heartache, girlies, because it’s just a guy thing! If you’d consider equating your life to a ladder, the men that matter to you do an unparalleled job of stumbling up and down it for as long as you continue to live; probably beyond, too- you can’t be too sure of that just yet, eh?!

Vision to RINSE out adamance!

13 Nov

A few days ago, I felt very strongly against people who made it beyond obvious that they cared enough to pay attention to/ respected only the well-dressed, beautified, pancaked, awesomely-fluent, empty-talkers, snobbishly securing their place in society; while practically not caring two hoots about the hard-working, dawn-to-dusk slogging, sincere, honest, dedicated and ethical types. To make matters worse, for the most part, I know that I feature in the lot at the latter half of that statement. 😕 😕

Did it pinch? Oh, yes. Did I complain and make a big show of it to anyone who I felt would stop to listen? Quite as much. But did their answers give me hope? Umm, let’s see. Most said, “That’s the way it is and there’s nothing you or I can do about it.” Some said, “Don’t bother about what the others think; do things for you. Do what makes YOU happy!” Aha! Yes, I know. It’s nice to talk these things, is what I thought as I continued to contemplate and muddle with my depressive feelings; then, just like that, I gave up. I had convinced myself that I’d be OKAY with staying in my dimly-lit life, with an almost invisible profile to my credit. I had decided that I shouldn’t have to change for anyone; it had to be the others who’d have to go in search of vision- vision that’d teach them to appreciate the unique beauty there is in each one of us- the beauty that I was sure, lay in the eyes of the beholder.

Today, God threw me headlong into a crowd that was exactly the kind I had decided I never could be with and surely, didn’t want to become. I found myself struggling with my appearance. [For those who read my other motivational blog and are thinking, “NO! This girl didn’t just say that!” Well, honeys, I just did. Welcome to reality. Grab a big mouthful of it and let’s move back into the conversation, that will continue to remain one-sided for however long I please, of course! 😀] I tried hard to pull on, willing the minutes to pass faster than they seemed to be, making sure I crawled back into my shell as and when time permitted- UNCOOL.

Everything in life needs getting used to; it is true. In a while, before I knew it, the novelty of the fear I was experiencing was gone- now, THAT, my friends, is the beauty of the amazingly short-lived human attention span, which again, is another story in itself, if you ask me! 😉 One thing I noticed while I was there, that I’ll be brave enough to admit to, was this- I formed opinions of people based on how they dressed, spoke and presented themselves, too. FAIL, I thought with regret; but now that I think about it, we all WANT to get better in each aspect of our lives- so, if people look like they take care of themselves and love themselves like they ought to, they obviously teach us a great deal by just breathing the same air and by being in the same room as us. We’re all brilliant pupils who know precisely where there is a lesson worth learning; and we absorb each intricate detail just like we’re meant to.

I WANT to be awesome, fun and self-loving; I want to be a fantastic teacher, too. I know now for sure that external appearances and fabulous talks do not compensate for the requirement of a good heart in anybody. Even a brief encounter can reveal what truly flourishes beneath the surface and if that picture ain’t a pretty one, people ain’t happy- I can vouch for that given what I saw. 🙂

For the knowledge I have found in this day, for the perfect (albeit, concealed) opportunity to understand myself better and for the rigid notions I held on to that continue to melt away as I write, I will remain eternally grateful. I do not know what it is that brings solutions to all of our problems tumbling and bouncing our way- God, our thoughts or some pre-determined script that some call fate– whatever it is, it works; and it works beautifully perfectly, in the most mysterious of all ways possible. I am truly glad it IS all exactly the way it is. 😉

“I want to be me AND still win each time”- message sent to: God

27 Oct

I’m trying to sort out my emotions as I begin typing this. 😕 Maybe, I spoke too soon the last time- I realize that I still imagine an ideal world and feel like I’m grating myself, day after day, in the process of finding it.

It takes ALL I possess to be as honest and sincere as I am. Insincerity, deceit, temptation and sin can get strong when everyone else is following it. I’ve known that before, but I’m now reminded of how sapping the effect of its pull can be.

If I bothered asking anyone what they thought of that, they would very easily say, “You’re doing what you’re doing for you. Don’t crib and act like a saint then.” Aha! 😀 😀 (Yep! Sarcastic laughter, indeed.) Very well then folks- point taken. I’m doing all that I’m doing for me. I’m doing it because the morals I’ve learnt are so deeply ingrained in my head that the magnetism of the easy, wrong path might stretch my soul, in an attempt to throw it out of my being; but my heart WILLS relentlessly to stay rooted. I cannot explain that any better and I don’t think you should try comprehending, if what I’ve just said hasn’t made any sense to you at all. Let’s end by saying, we’re different and leave it at that, if required.

Following the right path has had me appear weird, feel unaccepted, get taken for granted, sound whiny/ unsocial/ nutty and as if all of that wasn’t enough, left me speechless on occasions where name-calling would have been easy and extremely justified.

I’m tired and drained- for now. I’ll lie still and get back up on my feet, I know; it’ll be a few hours though. For now, I just want to cry. 😦 Will it change anything? No. I will just have lightened my heart enough to be able to pick up my battles again and fight. Fight, I will; even if like they tell me, all of this goes on to kill me. Am I being stubborn? I don’t think so. Principled? YES.

Where is God when I need him? If he is busy for now, even Gandhiji would do. I’d gladly grab a few pointers on how he went about things being him. Don’t take me wrong. I’m not trying to be him. I’m being me– and take it from me, that’s being a LOT.

What to do and what not to…

24 Oct

Sometimes, I wonder- Don’t ALL people come from God? Don’t we all have a heart that still belongs to Him? 😕 😕 Why then, would anyone treat someone else worse than they’d treat a street dog? (Not that any street dog deserves to be treated badly.)

I am thinking as I question you. What is it? The arrogance of being at the paying end? The gross misconception of being more knowledgeable about all that life has to offer? The authoritativeness that stems from being born in the lap of luxury or from living in it now? The egotism that grows out of being fortunate enough to be more literate than the opposite person?? Or is it the pain and irritation of being afflicted with suffering that seemingly (in their minds) no one else understands? [VERY likely, this; but one has to be wise enough to be able to look beyond themselves after a while, at least, right??]

I understand bad behavior to a certain extent- I do. In fact, I personally encourage relieving one’s stress as and when it’s levels shoot up rather than building it all up within oneself. Everybody needs an outlet once in a while; but to see someone taking liberties with every other, only to find that none of it got followed with even a simple apology in due course, I start to question said person’s brain power, character, common sense quotient, the very basis of their existence AND their purpose in living such a disgustingly appalling life.

Several situations occur in my day when my heart wants to intervene- it tugs at me in my chest as I convince myself to walk away from the trouble I’ll land myself into; but isn’t it the right thing to do to object when you see injustice being meted out to someone before your own eyes? Or no, let me get this right- is that role meant only for the LEAD character of a hit film to play??!

My mind wants to scream out loud and say something grotesque to calm my heart just so that I’ll move on. A part of me wants to correct the situation. And then again, a third part of me argues that each person’s attitude predetermines the situations they encounter each day- that last line isn’t my personal choice of belief; however, a book I firmly swear by says it as being true, which kind of makes it difficult for me to contradict, considering that the theories in there have helped me pick myself up from the dumps plenty of times already.

You know what? I can’t write anymore. I AM going to change the system– that is all I know and God will help me with that starting now; that fact rings out loud and clear in my soul. Wish me luck! 🙂

Looking beyond what is

15 Oct

It’s been a hard evening- let’s rephrase that- it’s been a strenuous evening for me. I’ve made peace with a lot of stressful people, today. I’ve matured. No, it isn’t that I’ve resigned, nor is it that I think of myself as being ready to take on the load of the entire universe upon my able shoulders- I have just learnt to be ‘okay’ (in the true sense of the word) with everything that isn’t in my control. I’m happier to focus on me- my goodness, sincerity and hard-work come to the fore, as they so rightly should. I observe the ones that I’m surrounded by- so often, I know what they’re up to. I’m not the once-naive girl who’d walked out of home with rose-colored dreams clouding her vision, anymore. [Not quite. 😉 Haha! Give me some credit, will you?!] I am over my agitation phase. What is just is.

I can look at everyone’s positives and magnify them in my head. Their negatives aren’t my concern now, are they?? [Unless they’re harming me, of course! In that case, I’m definitely STILL looking daggers at them!! 😀 :D] They’ve chosen to live their lives a certain way and I ought not to stop them. I am here to grow, to walk towards my greater purpose, to learn, to mature, to accept, to spread as much love, kindness and positivity as I can muster each day. My purposes are unique and I am designed as I have been to fulfil them in the best way possible. I have begun to realize that I am good. I have begun to see the Light there is in me. I am grateful because I know that I couldn’t have asked for more.

Thinking back to the ethics and professionalism that I was so defensive about earlier; I understand NOW that everyone is trying his/her best, at all times. Everyone has his/her limitations. They all get fatigued, worn-out and land up feeling over-worked. They all struggle with accepting their mistakes, while wallowing in self-pity, originating from sheer lack of praise, appreciation and gratitude for the services they have rendered to those around them. Several, if not most, have closed down their hearts with tight nuts and bolts of unloving messages like, “I know that I’ll get shouted at whether or not I do the job. So, why should I even care?” Justified, aren’t they?? Wouldn’t we all end up with similar thoughts? I know that I do, too, ever so often.

“What cannot be cured, must be endured” is what my Mother would say to this. But the fact is: far greater than the loss we face with efficiency dying down is the stigma we’ve attached to this someone’s self-pride. This person has now been made to feel sub-standard for all of his life. It WILL, more likely than not, spread to other areas of his living. It might get passed on to his/her kids because the environment we live in is where we all learn. We’re teaching so many others through this one person how they must look at their lives in turn. We’re propagating that one can never be good enough. We’re sending out a mass appeal to everyone who will listen to not even bother trying because it’ll simply be a waste of their time, effort, blood, sweat and tears. Am I blowing things out of proportion with my theory here? I don’t think so.

Put yourself in place of this person I’m referring to- if this were YOUR one chance to live life as you know it now, if YOU were the one being deprived of living with the full knowledge of how competent, powerful, resourceful, one-of-a-kind, precious, rare and IRREPLACEABLE you are- trust me, you’d be upset. You’d feel cheated. So would the ones who love you because they’d have taken your word for it on how the world around us all functions. I’m pretty certain you don’t love that picture, do you?? Or Do you? 😕

How do I propose we correct this? [Believe me when I tell you that I think up solutions, too, ever so often, rather than just being an empty noise-box that rattles on and on, endlessly.] At our own individual levels, we could try this- if their ain’t anything positive to say, we could all stay mum about it once we’ve thrown it out of our hearts/minds and made peace with it. That would put a full-stop to some of the pessimism that gets carried forward only to multiply as it stretches on. We could all say a kind word to the ones we meet when humanly possible. I might sound crazy to a few; but all of this is what has made me a happier person. It has become my only reason to wake up each morning and look forward to a brand new opportunity to light up another life- needless to mention, it all ends with me brightening my own.

More than enough for a day, huh?! I hear ya! Catch you later then!

P.S.- There are people who think I don’t talk much. Do you think you’d want to go help them get the picture right?! 😉 If nothing else, I hope you guys are coming to realize just how very lucky you’ll are turning out to be!

You’re triggering me to have the last laugh!! ;) ;) BEWARE.

12 Oct

Sometimes, when I sit down to write, I wish I knew where to begin. It isn’t easy, yet the solution is straight forward, so often. Why is it that the people in question can’t see it the way I do? Clearly, in my mind, I know that is so, simply because they’re nuts- pure nuts! 😕 Grrr!

Some are evil, some are happily ignorant, some are the cause of my suddenly-rising blood pressure and some others- they’re just not bothered about how the world around them runs or whether it even continues to function at all.

To think of it now, in my quiet solitude, I’m glad that certain events happened as they did. I am glad that I learnt important lessons out of having no other choice. I’m glad I have majority to back me, be it in the confines of the back room behind the scenes. Am I here to change things??? I wish that were possible, to be honest. It would be lovely to have made a difference to the madness that seems to be the norm. It’d be awesome to know that my voice took to the stage, turned off the dimmer switches in everyone’s heads, brought some common sense into the light, threw some ice packs in the direction of my wildly-beating heart to relax me a little and made sure that efficiency wasn’t such an impossible miracle, anymore.

If you’re the person I’m referring to, here or even anything like them, I can tell that you’re probably of the opinion that I’m talking- without any means to a cure- too much and for too long. (Oh yeah! That even, 😕 😕 which, by the way, makes me sick to my stomach. Tell me that you don’t have anything left to say in your defense instead. Tell me that you’re a pathetic loser when it comes to a sensible debate- that’d be telling the facts like they are, for a change, don’t you think?!) But sadly for your kind, I have solutions- simple ones, that if allowed, would go on to create a wave of revolution. All it takes to reform things is a peaceful, meaningful- might I add, for good measure- discussion with the ones involved. Listen to their issues, let them prioritize and think up better methods to work things out. What are you afraid of?? Losing your position to people who didn’t even study to become what you did? Tch-tch-tch-tch! It may not be a smooth ride to come to a consensus on certain [most] things in life, nor is change easy on every person’s taste-buds, but the fact that you’re continuously trying makes people feel appreciated. It makes them want to try harder to work things out, given their present circumstances even. Meanness can rock the best designed ship- now, THAT is a fact- take it or leave it!

I am now going to stop this mini-lecture on reform/ my private bashing-session and talk about me instead- because that is what I do, here. Do I care that I am having to surrender to someone else’s bitchiness? [Pardon my language.] Not really– as long as it saves me the trauma of yet another utterly useless, demeaning, DUMB, pukey conversation- I’m well-beyond happy. 😉 😉 I’ll not talk to said person, I’ll stick to my affairs and I’ll mentally rejoice for all eternity to know that they ain’t as good at their job as they think they are/ they ought to be. For once in my life, I’m learning to not expect better things in the future, while running away from my present, as fast as I can, towards a non-existent mirage. Life is and will be as we know it now. I am changing, my attitude is looking up, my way of responding to life’s challenges is improving- and my heart? It’s got to grow like never before! So, there’s still work to do in that department. I am teaching myself that there is a vast difference between an opinion and a judgement that one can form. I am practicing humor– which, for a change, is not of the sarcastic kind alone! (Yeah! Yeah! Think what you will! 😀 I ain’t stopping no one!)

It might not be a pretty picture, but I’ll last. This ain’t anywhere close to the end of me. Umm hmm. No, it ain’t! 🙂 There’s so much I’m beginning to do with my life. I’m mixing fun with the nastyness. I’m bringing back joy into my life. I’m roping in learning, knowledge and understanding to replace the anxiety, panic-attacks, stress, tears and bitterness. I am embracing pride and firing shame from the place it had usurped for so long. I am making certain that truth wins over conniving lies wrapped in greasy filth. If God exists, if the legends I’ve heard as a child are true at all, if goodness comes unto good people- I’ll win hands down- of that, I’m sure!

*****

P.S- Have you ever seen untimely rain?

Maybe, it is the universe wanting to scream out in fury because people refuse to see the obvious, so often. The struggles we fight aren’t within us alone, ’cause WE are far greater than who we actually recognize ourselves as being.

The world around us is an extension of our spirit. It contains a part of us that lights up with our growth, that fumes with us, cries with us, laughs with us and breathes with us. It is true what I read on my good blog-friend’s facebook account, recently- …if anything matters, then everything matters. Because you’re important, everything you do is important. Every time you forgive, the universe changes; every time you reach out and touch a heart or a life, the world changes; with every kindness and service, seen or unseen, My purposes are accomplished and NOTHING will be the same again.” William P. Young (The Shack).

… If anything matters, we matter. And nothing will EVER be the same again… Don’t you just love that? I am in ♥LOVE♥ with that line- it’s like I can breathe it in the air, feel it in my veins and see it exploding in my heart in pure bliss to give rise to a million happy smiles. Aww! The combination makes me want to tear up!

WE MATTER. 🙂 The roar in our hearts thunders out loud. Time talks when our silence makes it seem like we’ve quit. God lives- it’s true- to me, at least.

Have a BEA-U-TIFUL day, everybody!! I know I will. 🙂 🙂 🙂

xoxo