Archive | September, 2011

The randomness that gets me through potholes of madness

27 Sep

Now, because I promised myself that I’d take more time to do things that I love doing and the things that make me happy, here I am, back again. Surprised?? Good!

One day prior to now, I might have received my greatest compliment in recent times. “You look just like Sharmila, my daughter… (I swear, I beamed enough to give the moon a complex.) She’s 40.” Ahem! Why yes Auntyji, thank you VERY much! That’s exactly what I needed to hear in my current state of mind, I thought. How very kind! 😀 I’m certain women read facial expressions far better than men do though and I’m right, too, because she was rather quick to top that with, “Of course, she’s much older than you.” Thank God for a higher emotional quotient in our kind, wouldn’t you say?! Phew.

Too much to do, all at once is beyond irritating; yet nothing to do is undeniably worse than a day not lived- I can assure you of that first hand- it is punishment, in my own words from the day I had to endure what I’m talking about. To think of it the way I imagine God must think of it, (if He does indeed think like me, that is ;)) we’re all just plain greedy. But then again, fulfilling work would surely make everyone feel better about a major bulk of everything in their lives, right? “Holy Lord! Does such a thing exist?” (Don’t waste time wondering about whether or not I’m still talking to you because I totally am. Look wonder-struck and question that with me.) “If it does exist, dear God, please know that I’m standing pretty much first in line in search of my tour guide. Seriously. Thank you. Yours truly, ME. P.S. No, I am not complaining and I still think of you as my friend.” As for you guys, don’t copy my lines when you pray because honestly, I’d rather that you be second, third or fourth in line. Deal?

Yesterday evening, I happened to see a middle-aged man walking on a busy street in fluorescent yellow pants and a light checkered shirt. 🙂 Yep! You can laugh first because I did, too. No, he did not look mentally unwell. Did he care about who thought what of him? Not that I could tell. Did he want to look better than every other teenage kid in town? I don’t think so. Did he look like he was cribbing about a more respected life that God probably hadn’t chosen for him just yet? Not really. Do I know him? No. Will I ever see him again? Most likely, not. But he taught me to feel beautiful in myself. That one sighting of him changed at least a few pages in the story of my life. I’m grateful.

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When the Doctor needs a Doctor

24 Sep

It’s important for me to write this piece, today. Reason: I don’t like that the archives on both my blogs have nothing to boast of in the month of September. This can’t be! How did this happen to me?? Ah! Never mind! (because I want to defend myself. :D) I want to mention the innumerable times in this gap, when I’ve formed posts in my head, only to see them getting washed over by the waves of the next emotion I’d happen to experience. (Note to self- I need to be able to blog on the go, soon enough.) It’s a pity that happened, but I’m still here and that’s all that matters to make sure this story struts along happily to the finish!

Time has fatigued me in the past month or so and made me feel more like a worn-out wash-cloth awaiting it’s long due rinse in its shiny new bubble bath that it oh-so-truly deserves. Am I cribbing? Oh-oh. Ahem! Not; not at all in fact. (Liar me! ;)) I’m just soaking in my spare moments, giving myself a hearty pat on my back and telling myself, “Girl, you’ve done well! You’ve done so incredibly well! And I am so very proud of you!” True, this.

It’s crazy. Life is crazy; if you allow yourself to melt into the background of your own narrative. Stamp your face like a watermark on every single page of every little chapter there is in there and remind yourself of who ought to be calling the cards each day. What does it matter what anyone else says, thinks or feels? What do YOU feel? Why do you feel a certain thing? What can you do to better it for yourself? It ain’t impossible. No! It ain’t.

Look at me. I feel the need to work on my confidence and presentation. (We’re all beautiful- we just need to be able to see it in ourselves and trying is where ALL the success is.) I am teaching myself a lesson in being more forthright, while understanding that it doesn’t take away from me, my niceness. It is okay to feel vulnerable when someone critiques you; yet it’s important to be grateful for all they’ve bothered telling you, to still continue to see them in good light, to become better in your thoughts if you are to bring about any change in your behavior at all due to what you’ve now learnt and to appreciate yourself for remaining classy through it all, without getting your dirty linen out in public to beat the grime out of- that’s what I’m busy engraving into my skull.

Bring the love back into your lives, people! I know I have begun to. 🙂 And it’s bound to be a miracle. Let’s do this! [I will be back sooner than you’re thinking, by the way! Caught ya!! 😀 Quit judging, will you?!]