Archive | Freedom RSS feed for this section

You’re triggering me to have the last laugh!! ;) ;) BEWARE.

12 Oct

Sometimes, when I sit down to write, I wish I knew where to begin. It isn’t easy, yet the solution is straight forward, so often. Why is it that the people in question can’t see it the way I do? Clearly, in my mind, I know that is so, simply because they’re nuts- pure nuts! 😕 Grrr!

Some are evil, some are happily ignorant, some are the cause of my suddenly-rising blood pressure and some others- they’re just not bothered about how the world around them runs or whether it even continues to function at all.

To think of it now, in my quiet solitude, I’m glad that certain events happened as they did. I am glad that I learnt important lessons out of having no other choice. I’m glad I have majority to back me, be it in the confines of the back room behind the scenes. Am I here to change things??? I wish that were possible, to be honest. It would be lovely to have made a difference to the madness that seems to be the norm. It’d be awesome to know that my voice took to the stage, turned off the dimmer switches in everyone’s heads, brought some common sense into the light, threw some ice packs in the direction of my wildly-beating heart to relax me a little and made sure that efficiency wasn’t such an impossible miracle, anymore.

If you’re the person I’m referring to, here or even anything like them, I can tell that you’re probably of the opinion that I’m talking- without any means to a cure- too much and for too long. (Oh yeah! That even, 😕 😕 which, by the way, makes me sick to my stomach. Tell me that you don’t have anything left to say in your defense instead. Tell me that you’re a pathetic loser when it comes to a sensible debate- that’d be telling the facts like they are, for a change, don’t you think?!) But sadly for your kind, I have solutions- simple ones, that if allowed, would go on to create a wave of revolution. All it takes to reform things is a peaceful, meaningful- might I add, for good measure- discussion with the ones involved. Listen to their issues, let them prioritize and think up better methods to work things out. What are you afraid of?? Losing your position to people who didn’t even study to become what you did? Tch-tch-tch-tch! It may not be a smooth ride to come to a consensus on certain [most] things in life, nor is change easy on every person’s taste-buds, but the fact that you’re continuously trying makes people feel appreciated. It makes them want to try harder to work things out, given their present circumstances even. Meanness can rock the best designed ship- now, THAT is a fact- take it or leave it!

I am now going to stop this mini-lecture on reform/ my private bashing-session and talk about me instead- because that is what I do, here. Do I care that I am having to surrender to someone else’s bitchiness? [Pardon my language.] Not really– as long as it saves me the trauma of yet another utterly useless, demeaning, DUMB, pukey conversation- I’m well-beyond happy. 😉 😉 I’ll not talk to said person, I’ll stick to my affairs and I’ll mentally rejoice for all eternity to know that they ain’t as good at their job as they think they are/ they ought to be. For once in my life, I’m learning to not expect better things in the future, while running away from my present, as fast as I can, towards a non-existent mirage. Life is and will be as we know it now. I am changing, my attitude is looking up, my way of responding to life’s challenges is improving- and my heart? It’s got to grow like never before! So, there’s still work to do in that department. I am teaching myself that there is a vast difference between an opinion and a judgement that one can form. I am practicing humor– which, for a change, is not of the sarcastic kind alone! (Yeah! Yeah! Think what you will! 😀 I ain’t stopping no one!)

It might not be a pretty picture, but I’ll last. This ain’t anywhere close to the end of me. Umm hmm. No, it ain’t! 🙂 There’s so much I’m beginning to do with my life. I’m mixing fun with the nastyness. I’m bringing back joy into my life. I’m roping in learning, knowledge and understanding to replace the anxiety, panic-attacks, stress, tears and bitterness. I am embracing pride and firing shame from the place it had usurped for so long. I am making certain that truth wins over conniving lies wrapped in greasy filth. If God exists, if the legends I’ve heard as a child are true at all, if goodness comes unto good people- I’ll win hands down- of that, I’m sure!

*****

P.S- Have you ever seen untimely rain?

Maybe, it is the universe wanting to scream out in fury because people refuse to see the obvious, so often. The struggles we fight aren’t within us alone, ’cause WE are far greater than who we actually recognize ourselves as being.

The world around us is an extension of our spirit. It contains a part of us that lights up with our growth, that fumes with us, cries with us, laughs with us and breathes with us. It is true what I read on my good blog-friend’s facebook account, recently- …if anything matters, then everything matters. Because you’re important, everything you do is important. Every time you forgive, the universe changes; every time you reach out and touch a heart or a life, the world changes; with every kindness and service, seen or unseen, My purposes are accomplished and NOTHING will be the same again.” William P. Young (The Shack).

… If anything matters, we matter. And nothing will EVER be the same again… Don’t you just love that? I am in ♥LOVE♥ with that line- it’s like I can breathe it in the air, feel it in my veins and see it exploding in my heart in pure bliss to give rise to a million happy smiles. Aww! The combination makes me want to tear up!

WE MATTER. 🙂 The roar in our hearts thunders out loud. Time talks when our silence makes it seem like we’ve quit. God lives- it’s true- to me, at least.

Have a BEA-U-TIFUL day, everybody!! I know I will. 🙂 🙂 🙂

xoxo

The randomness that gets me through potholes of madness

27 Sep

Now, because I promised myself that I’d take more time to do things that I love doing and the things that make me happy, here I am, back again. Surprised?? Good!

One day prior to now, I might have received my greatest compliment in recent times. “You look just like Sharmila, my daughter… (I swear, I beamed enough to give the moon a complex.) She’s 40.” Ahem! Why yes Auntyji, thank you VERY much! That’s exactly what I needed to hear in my current state of mind, I thought. How very kind! 😀 I’m certain women read facial expressions far better than men do though and I’m right, too, because she was rather quick to top that with, “Of course, she’s much older than you.” Thank God for a higher emotional quotient in our kind, wouldn’t you say?! Phew.

Too much to do, all at once is beyond irritating; yet nothing to do is undeniably worse than a day not lived- I can assure you of that first hand- it is punishment, in my own words from the day I had to endure what I’m talking about. To think of it the way I imagine God must think of it, (if He does indeed think like me, that is ;)) we’re all just plain greedy. But then again, fulfilling work would surely make everyone feel better about a major bulk of everything in their lives, right? “Holy Lord! Does such a thing exist?” (Don’t waste time wondering about whether or not I’m still talking to you because I totally am. Look wonder-struck and question that with me.) “If it does exist, dear God, please know that I’m standing pretty much first in line in search of my tour guide. Seriously. Thank you. Yours truly, ME. P.S. No, I am not complaining and I still think of you as my friend.” As for you guys, don’t copy my lines when you pray because honestly, I’d rather that you be second, third or fourth in line. Deal?

Yesterday evening, I happened to see a middle-aged man walking on a busy street in fluorescent yellow pants and a light checkered shirt. 🙂 Yep! You can laugh first because I did, too. No, he did not look mentally unwell. Did he care about who thought what of him? Not that I could tell. Did he want to look better than every other teenage kid in town? I don’t think so. Did he look like he was cribbing about a more respected life that God probably hadn’t chosen for him just yet? Not really. Do I know him? No. Will I ever see him again? Most likely, not. But he taught me to feel beautiful in myself. That one sighting of him changed at least a few pages in the story of my life. I’m grateful.

Hello world!

17 Jun

Writing this feels like a whole new opportunity for freedom, growth, reflection and self-expression; for which, I am immensely grateful. 🙂

I may not post as regularly, here, because my schedule may not permit it; but this blog is meant to be an easy place to turn to when I am in need of making sense of things.

Just getting used to wordpress feels like a major milestone for now!

If you’ve stumbled upon this, thanks so much for taking time to read me.

Here’s to great beginnings, fulfilling journeys and happy endings!! 🙂

Cheers!