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Vision to RINSE out adamance!

13 Nov

A few days ago, I felt very strongly against people who made it beyond obvious that they cared enough to pay attention to/ respected only the well-dressed, beautified, pancaked, awesomely-fluent, empty-talkers, snobbishly securing their place in society; while practically not caring two hoots about the hard-working, dawn-to-dusk slogging, sincere, honest, dedicated and ethical types. To make matters worse, for the most part, I know that I feature in the lot at the latter half of that statement. 😕 😕

Did it pinch? Oh, yes. Did I complain and make a big show of it to anyone who I felt would stop to listen? Quite as much. But did their answers give me hope? Umm, let’s see. Most said, “That’s the way it is and there’s nothing you or I can do about it.” Some said, “Don’t bother about what the others think; do things for you. Do what makes YOU happy!” Aha! Yes, I know. It’s nice to talk these things, is what I thought as I continued to contemplate and muddle with my depressive feelings; then, just like that, I gave up. I had convinced myself that I’d be OKAY with staying in my dimly-lit life, with an almost invisible profile to my credit. I had decided that I shouldn’t have to change for anyone; it had to be the others who’d have to go in search of vision- vision that’d teach them to appreciate the unique beauty there is in each one of us- the beauty that I was sure, lay in the eyes of the beholder.

Today, God threw me headlong into a crowd that was exactly the kind I had decided I never could be with and surely, didn’t want to become. I found myself struggling with my appearance. [For those who read my other motivational blog and are thinking, “NO! This girl didn’t just say that!” Well, honeys, I just did. Welcome to reality. Grab a big mouthful of it and let’s move back into the conversation, that will continue to remain one-sided for however long I please, of course! 😀] I tried hard to pull on, willing the minutes to pass faster than they seemed to be, making sure I crawled back into my shell as and when time permitted- UNCOOL.

Everything in life needs getting used to; it is true. In a while, before I knew it, the novelty of the fear I was experiencing was gone- now, THAT, my friends, is the beauty of the amazingly short-lived human attention span, which again, is another story in itself, if you ask me! 😉 One thing I noticed while I was there, that I’ll be brave enough to admit to, was this- I formed opinions of people based on how they dressed, spoke and presented themselves, too. FAIL, I thought with regret; but now that I think about it, we all WANT to get better in each aspect of our lives- so, if people look like they take care of themselves and love themselves like they ought to, they obviously teach us a great deal by just breathing the same air and by being in the same room as us. We’re all brilliant pupils who know precisely where there is a lesson worth learning; and we absorb each intricate detail just like we’re meant to.

I WANT to be awesome, fun and self-loving; I want to be a fantastic teacher, too. I know now for sure that external appearances and fabulous talks do not compensate for the requirement of a good heart in anybody. Even a brief encounter can reveal what truly flourishes beneath the surface and if that picture ain’t a pretty one, people ain’t happy- I can vouch for that given what I saw. 🙂

For the knowledge I have found in this day, for the perfect (albeit, concealed) opportunity to understand myself better and for the rigid notions I held on to that continue to melt away as I write, I will remain eternally grateful. I do not know what it is that brings solutions to all of our problems tumbling and bouncing our way- God, our thoughts or some pre-determined script that some call fate– whatever it is, it works; and it works beautifully perfectly, in the most mysterious of all ways possible. I am truly glad it IS all exactly the way it is. 😉

Looking beyond what is

15 Oct

It’s been a hard evening- let’s rephrase that- it’s been a strenuous evening for me. I’ve made peace with a lot of stressful people, today. I’ve matured. No, it isn’t that I’ve resigned, nor is it that I think of myself as being ready to take on the load of the entire universe upon my able shoulders- I have just learnt to be ‘okay’ (in the true sense of the word) with everything that isn’t in my control. I’m happier to focus on me- my goodness, sincerity and hard-work come to the fore, as they so rightly should. I observe the ones that I’m surrounded by- so often, I know what they’re up to. I’m not the once-naive girl who’d walked out of home with rose-colored dreams clouding her vision, anymore. [Not quite. 😉 Haha! Give me some credit, will you?!] I am over my agitation phase. What is just is.

I can look at everyone’s positives and magnify them in my head. Their negatives aren’t my concern now, are they?? [Unless they’re harming me, of course! In that case, I’m definitely STILL looking daggers at them!! 😀 :D] They’ve chosen to live their lives a certain way and I ought not to stop them. I am here to grow, to walk towards my greater purpose, to learn, to mature, to accept, to spread as much love, kindness and positivity as I can muster each day. My purposes are unique and I am designed as I have been to fulfil them in the best way possible. I have begun to realize that I am good. I have begun to see the Light there is in me. I am grateful because I know that I couldn’t have asked for more.

Thinking back to the ethics and professionalism that I was so defensive about earlier; I understand NOW that everyone is trying his/her best, at all times. Everyone has his/her limitations. They all get fatigued, worn-out and land up feeling over-worked. They all struggle with accepting their mistakes, while wallowing in self-pity, originating from sheer lack of praise, appreciation and gratitude for the services they have rendered to those around them. Several, if not most, have closed down their hearts with tight nuts and bolts of unloving messages like, “I know that I’ll get shouted at whether or not I do the job. So, why should I even care?” Justified, aren’t they?? Wouldn’t we all end up with similar thoughts? I know that I do, too, ever so often.

“What cannot be cured, must be endured” is what my Mother would say to this. But the fact is: far greater than the loss we face with efficiency dying down is the stigma we’ve attached to this someone’s self-pride. This person has now been made to feel sub-standard for all of his life. It WILL, more likely than not, spread to other areas of his living. It might get passed on to his/her kids because the environment we live in is where we all learn. We’re teaching so many others through this one person how they must look at their lives in turn. We’re propagating that one can never be good enough. We’re sending out a mass appeal to everyone who will listen to not even bother trying because it’ll simply be a waste of their time, effort, blood, sweat and tears. Am I blowing things out of proportion with my theory here? I don’t think so.

Put yourself in place of this person I’m referring to- if this were YOUR one chance to live life as you know it now, if YOU were the one being deprived of living with the full knowledge of how competent, powerful, resourceful, one-of-a-kind, precious, rare and IRREPLACEABLE you are- trust me, you’d be upset. You’d feel cheated. So would the ones who love you because they’d have taken your word for it on how the world around us all functions. I’m pretty certain you don’t love that picture, do you?? Or Do you? 😕

How do I propose we correct this? [Believe me when I tell you that I think up solutions, too, ever so often, rather than just being an empty noise-box that rattles on and on, endlessly.] At our own individual levels, we could try this- if their ain’t anything positive to say, we could all stay mum about it once we’ve thrown it out of our hearts/minds and made peace with it. That would put a full-stop to some of the pessimism that gets carried forward only to multiply as it stretches on. We could all say a kind word to the ones we meet when humanly possible. I might sound crazy to a few; but all of this is what has made me a happier person. It has become my only reason to wake up each morning and look forward to a brand new opportunity to light up another life- needless to mention, it all ends with me brightening my own.

More than enough for a day, huh?! I hear ya! Catch you later then!

P.S.- There are people who think I don’t talk much. Do you think you’d want to go help them get the picture right?! 😉 If nothing else, I hope you guys are coming to realize just how very lucky you’ll are turning out to be!

Look out- those footprints grow!

7 Oct

Three days ago, somewhere in the midst of the Navratri festival, I saw a little girl of about 8 or 9, strutting around on the streets in golden heels, racing in tow with her Mom. That made me literally stop in my tracks and wonder about the last pair of fancy shoes I might have ever owned- in class III or IV maybe- albeit, mine were black. It amazed me to recollect that I actually had at least one pair of sandals (other than my school shoes, i.e.) bought in my name, year after year, until I was that age. So, it isn’t my parents’ fault that I’m such a lousy dresser now, is it? Hmm. 😕

Today, during a quiet moment, I happened to look down at my feet. When did I grow up to be so big? I have NO idea. Let this be a crazy dream, God. Actually, I’m not sure I’m willing to go all the way back, too.

I’m mumbling, aren’t I? Ah! I can do this. I can. I SO surely can. I can. I will. I am. I am… Phew. I am because I can and it makes me happy– it does- it’s true. I am exactly where I’m meant to be. I’m progressing. This is good. All I need to do is relax a bit more. I’ll be fine. Ah! Writing is therapy. 🙂

Until next time, au revoir folks! Be good.