Tag Archives: Verbal-abuse

What to do and what not to…

24 Oct

Sometimes, I wonder- Don’t ALL people come from God? Don’t we all have a heart that still belongs to Him? 😕 😕 Why then, would anyone treat someone else worse than they’d treat a street dog? (Not that any street dog deserves to be treated badly.)

I am thinking as I question you. What is it? The arrogance of being at the paying end? The gross misconception of being more knowledgeable about all that life has to offer? The authoritativeness that stems from being born in the lap of luxury or from living in it now? The egotism that grows out of being fortunate enough to be more literate than the opposite person?? Or is it the pain and irritation of being afflicted with suffering that seemingly (in their minds) no one else understands? [VERY likely, this; but one has to be wise enough to be able to look beyond themselves after a while, at least, right??]

I understand bad behavior to a certain extent- I do. In fact, I personally encourage relieving one’s stress as and when it’s levels shoot up rather than building it all up within oneself. Everybody needs an outlet once in a while; but to see someone taking liberties with every other, only to find that none of it got followed with even a simple apology in due course, I start to question said person’s brain power, character, common sense quotient, the very basis of their existence AND their purpose in living such a disgustingly appalling life.

Several situations occur in my day when my heart wants to intervene- it tugs at me in my chest as I convince myself to walk away from the trouble I’ll land myself into; but isn’t it the right thing to do to object when you see injustice being meted out to someone before your own eyes? Or no, let me get this right- is that role meant only for the LEAD character of a hit film to play??!

My mind wants to scream out loud and say something grotesque to calm my heart just so that I’ll move on. A part of me wants to correct the situation. And then again, a third part of me argues that each person’s attitude predetermines the situations they encounter each day- that last line isn’t my personal choice of belief; however, a book I firmly swear by says it as being true, which kind of makes it difficult for me to contradict, considering that the theories in there have helped me pick myself up from the dumps plenty of times already.

You know what? I can’t write anymore. I AM going to change the system– that is all I know and God will help me with that starting now; that fact rings out loud and clear in my soul. Wish me luck! 🙂

When the Doctor needs a Doctor

24 Sep

It’s important for me to write this piece, today. Reason: I don’t like that the archives on both my blogs have nothing to boast of in the month of September. This can’t be! How did this happen to me?? Ah! Never mind! (because I want to defend myself. :D) I want to mention the innumerable times in this gap, when I’ve formed posts in my head, only to see them getting washed over by the waves of the next emotion I’d happen to experience. (Note to self- I need to be able to blog on the go, soon enough.) It’s a pity that happened, but I’m still here and that’s all that matters to make sure this story struts along happily to the finish!

Time has fatigued me in the past month or so and made me feel more like a worn-out wash-cloth awaiting it’s long due rinse in its shiny new bubble bath that it oh-so-truly deserves. Am I cribbing? Oh-oh. Ahem! Not; not at all in fact. (Liar me! ;)) I’m just soaking in my spare moments, giving myself a hearty pat on my back and telling myself, “Girl, you’ve done well! You’ve done so incredibly well! And I am so very proud of you!” True, this.

It’s crazy. Life is crazy; if you allow yourself to melt into the background of your own narrative. Stamp your face like a watermark on every single page of every little chapter there is in there and remind yourself of who ought to be calling the cards each day. What does it matter what anyone else says, thinks or feels? What do YOU feel? Why do you feel a certain thing? What can you do to better it for yourself? It ain’t impossible. No! It ain’t.

Look at me. I feel the need to work on my confidence and presentation. (We’re all beautiful- we just need to be able to see it in ourselves and trying is where ALL the success is.) I am teaching myself a lesson in being more forthright, while understanding that it doesn’t take away from me, my niceness. It is okay to feel vulnerable when someone critiques you; yet it’s important to be grateful for all they’ve bothered telling you, to still continue to see them in good light, to become better in your thoughts if you are to bring about any change in your behavior at all due to what you’ve now learnt and to appreciate yourself for remaining classy through it all, without getting your dirty linen out in public to beat the grime out of- that’s what I’m busy engraving into my skull.

Bring the love back into your lives, people! I know I have begun to. 🙂 And it’s bound to be a miracle. Let’s do this! [I will be back sooner than you’re thinking, by the way! Caught ya!! 😀 Quit judging, will you?!]

Insincerity is a disease that spreads faster than stinky slime

6 Aug

Recovery from being a verbal abuser is tough. To know that, to gain command over your thoughts out of sheer will power and then, to watch the dam of your patience starting to give way; the cracks in it dribbling every few seconds, polluting the waters in your world, is downright depressing.

But what do you do when teamwork becomes your boss? What about when the Hippocratic oath seems like another consent form everyone seems to have signed blindly (as part of the lousy herd-mentality that came free with their cluster disorder package) just to get their greedy hands on that coveted degree? Working hard and struggling to clean the filth in society is all fine; but how about the times when you’re covering the greasy muck with a blanket of your sincerity, honesty and dizziness-inducing, arduous labor, yet have no scope to get noticed for the same? You may not demand appreciation because you do what you do for your satisfaction, but what if, much to your chagrin, you’re treated with the same disgust and disdain that every duty-shirking, money-hungry, (use explicit swear word, here) cheating, scheming, seeming-quack voluntarily asks for?

I cannot work under a slime-covered carpet, incessantly toiling to make it shine; while everyone walks left, right and center through the holes they’ve dug in it, to escape their dues. I’ll run about with disinfectant all over the place, all on my own if I need to, but when it is clean, pose with that mop in hand, I will- whether you care to look in my direction or not.

They talk of wanting to wipe out corruption in the comfort of their cozy dens, yet fail miserably to realize that they are one of the key ingredients of that same well-oiled machine- who are they kidding? Or maybe, this is part of their cover-up, too and I’ve only just taken time to look through their veil- one can never know for sure, right? I feel bad when my bubble breaks and am not sure I want to grow up, anymore- I’d rather go back to Primary School, where they lied to me in books about fairness, justice and equality, through soul-nourishing stories, overflowing with truth, valor, wit and bravery. In watching these infected mice run like they do- hour after hour, in seeing the fury in me wanting to emulate their deceiving ways in order to trick them, to give them a taste of their own medicine; I hate to see what I allow myself to become, albeit for a few minutes, in the innermost depths of my mind. However, a few hours of well-deserved sleep have snapped me back to my senses.

I may not have the answers to this riddle yet; but I know that I can continue to do my part because one person STILL matters. I might not turn out to be half as rich as them, but God will take care of me- that much, He can do. The tears that start to spill out even as I type that last sentence remind me of how I had begun to look at life so controllingly in the past day or two. I had forgotten the meaning of the line my Mum repeats to me often- “Do your best and leave the rest to God.” That may seem like no solution in reality, but for my heart, today, there ain’t no better cure. Thank goodness for the goodness that prevails despite every test. I’m glad that I have a place to vent in the open, refreshing air to breathe and water to gulp down the lumps that occasionally form in my throat. It is no wonder to me now, that rest is king. Get good sleep, people! 🙂 It makes life a hundred, thousand-fold better; trust me!

Thanks for listening. Au revoir!